Emma Case (00:00):
Welcome to Inside The Senior Alliance, a podcast exploring resources and issues in the field of aging. I’m Emma Case, Planning and Advocacy Manager at The Senior Alliance, the Area Agency on Aging, serving Western and Southern Wayne County. Joining me today is Jennifer Frush, Executive Director of New Hope Center for Grief Support. Jennifer, thank you for joining me today.
Jennifer Frush (00:17):
Thank you so much for having me.
Emma Case (00:20):
Jennifer, can you talk about New Hope, what you all do over there, and kind of the story of the creation of it?
Jennifer Frush (00:26):
So New Hope Center for Grief Support was founded in 2000 by a woman named Cathy Clough. Cathy experienced the death of her husband at a fairly young age and she was raising three children on her own and there was nothing like New Hope at that time. So as she did her own healing, she knew she wanted to start something of this nature to support children, families, and adults impacted by the death of a loved one. So in 2000, she literally started this program in her home and it has evolved to serving over 10,000 individuals on an annual basis. Her mission that she designed and we still honor today is to bring hope, healing, and new beginnings to children, families, and adults impacted by the death of a loved one. We provide free programs and services to all that have been impacted by the death and you know, just open a compassionate, caring, safe space to talk about grief and loss and help people navigate their grief.
Emma Case (01:25):
We know that grief can look different for everybody. How does New Hope help individuals navigate the different stages of grief? Is there a right way to grieve? And you talked a little bit about your support services. Can you go a little more in depth into what all you offer?
Jennifer Frush (01:40):
Grief is a universal life experience. We all share, however, the way in which we experience it is unique to the person and the relationship to whom we lost. Our teachings are based on just bringing grievers to the sense that grief is normal, it’s natural, it’s necessary. I will stress there’s no right way to grieve. Everybody has to find their own way. However, I will stress there are healthy ways to grieve. So the importance of that being, it’s helping people really realize connection because grief can be incredibly isolating. So connecting them to others who understand, who have walked in their journey, our goal is to offer peer support, evidence-based models. So you are literally meeting with individuals that are going through the journey that are around the same age, with the same type of loss, and the facilitators that are running your group are there to keep the group safe, but also have walked this journey losing, whether it be children or spouses, a loved one, a parent, and they’re there years out after their experience to continue their healing and honor their loved one.
Jennifer Frush (02:47):
So connection is one of them. Another one is learning about the emotions and reactions associated with grief. So you feel a better sense of being prepared for if and when they arise. And you know, connecting with others to know how they’ve managed their grief or what has worked or hasn’t worked for them can give a sense of comfort because again, it’s very isolating and unique to you and the relationships you lost. Another big piece is finding healthy coping strategies. So yes, there’s a wide range of emotions that you can feel during this process. So better understanding healthy ways to deal with them. One thing we really stress is that grief is work. So in order to get to feeling to a point where you have hope and healing, it’s really about investing time into sitting with some very uncomfortable emotions. So they subside in intensity.
Jennifer Frush (03:40):
And the more that you do that, the less intense and raw these feelings can be. So, you know, just connection, learning about what you might be experiencing along the journey. One big piece is being able to talk about your person. So oftentimes as a culture we don’t feel comfortable talking about grief and loss, so we stop talking about the person and that’s a really big part of healing. So creating space for people to talk about their loved one, even though they’re gone, so whether it be six months, a year, ten years later, it’s really creates a safe space to continue to talk about your loved one that has died. What we do to offer these support systems is we offer 36 ongoing loss specific groups that individuals can come to and they’re held, whether it be on a weekly basis, biweekly basis or monthly basis, they’re drop-in.
Jennifer Frush (04:32):
So you don’t have to pre-register, but it gives you a place to connect with others, learn about those emotions and reactions and share your story. And then we also offer programs such as workshops and seminars, which have an educational component to them, but they still include that peer support model. So again, you’re meeting with others that are around the same age and have experienced this same type of loss. We offer children and family programs, so we take a family-centered approach to grief, although each family member does it different, it is important to recognize those differences and be supportive in them. So bringing the whole family together and providing dinner. And then children are broken out based on their developmental stages, what they understand about grief and loss based on age. And every month we host a family Friday and those kids get to do fun grief related activities.
Jennifer Frush (05:23):
So, you know, maybe impromptu like acting out your grief or on a day to play, we might go bowling and strike out our grief and having healthy conversations about emotions that we might experience during our grief journey. And then healthy coping ways to deal with them when they do arise. We also offer a two day kids camp. And I guess the biggest thing I want to stress is that all of our programs and services are free of charge. So they’re open to anyone that has been impacted by the death of a loved one and absolutely free of charge. So anybody is available to take advantage of those free services.
Emma Case (05:58):
That’s amazing. If somebody is still grieving a loss from years ago or if they’re preparing for the passing of a loved one, can they reach out for support?
Jennifer Frush (06:06):
Yeah, New Hope is willing to help individuals navigate the death of a loved one. We’d be happy to assist and find appropriate programming for, you know, whatever type of grief someone’s experiencing. We specialize in the death of someone, however, very familiar with anticipatory grief as well. So you know, we’ll speak to it. But if we’re not enough and they need more, we definitely have tons of resources and referrals of community partners that we work with that we would get them plugged in. Totally normal. A lot of people, especially as we age, it wasn’t common to talk about death or the emotions and reactions we were experiencing after a loved one. So it’s not uncommon to find someone that never really did the grief or had the opportunity or learned how. So we welcome people regardless of how far out the loss is to come to the program and get involved and work through that grief so they can experience hope and healing. And a big part of that is once you find hope and healing, there are new beginnings, there is life after loss.
Emma Case (07:07):
What are some of the biggest misconceptions about grief that you encounter in your work?
Jennifer Frush (07:11):
Oh gosh, there’s quite a few. I think a big one that I like to talk about a lot is timelines for getting over grief. Unfortunately, you never get over your grief. You have to learn to live with it. It does get less intense and raw if you do the grief work, but if you don’t it can really complicate and manifest into other issues and you know, help you develop some unhealthy coping skills. So I just really stress that there isn’t a timeline to getting over grief. It’s more important, it’s your journey, it’s your ride. It will take how long it takes, but it’s, you know about doing the grief work and it can become less intense and raw and you can live a happy life after it and honoring your loved one in the process.
Emma Case (07:55):
Do older adults face unique challenges when it comes to grief and loss? And how do their experiences differ from the younger generations?
Jennifer Frush (08:03):
So seniors experience more frequent loss due to the likelihood of losing more loved ones. It can be a significant challenge, you know, impacting things like their physical, cognitive, social and emotional wellbeing. Emotionally it can create some emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt and depression is very common for seniors just because of the isolation. Physically grief can impact seniors such as increased fatigue, changes in appetite, and even sleeping disruptions. Cognitively so things start to slow down as we get older. So it can actually have a bigger impact, creating more difficulty on concentration or memory and sometimes even more confusion can occur in seniors. Socially isolation is very common amongst seniors. So this can intensify that feeling of isolation. As well as seniors that are experiencing more complex grief, they tend to withdraw from social activities as well. Seniors, I will say experience grief are at a higher risk of developing depression, which we know is a normal part of aging and does require attention.
Jennifer Frush (09:15):
Those feelings of loneliness and isolation can be tremendously exacerbate the grief and impact overall health. So it’s critical that loved ones that support seniors recognize this and you know, seek out additional support when and if they’re seeing this. So things such as grief support, organizations, counseling, and just encouraging them to get involved in community engagement. When you help someone or help others, it can lessen the intensity of the distress that you’re in yourself. So we always refer seniors to take advantage of getting involved in programs such as support systems like New Hope. And most importantly, we tell people to just, you know, it does take time sometimes with seniors it can take a little bit longer because our pace of life slows down. So giving them time to process and allowing them to grieve at their own pace is really important.
Emma Case (10:09):
For family members and caregivers supporting a grieving loved one what are some practical ways they can offer comfort and help?
Jennifer Frush (10:17):
I know it’s hard, but finding time. Spending time with individuals that are grieving is really important. Creating a space for them to talk about their loved one is highly recommended. And using their loved one’s name gives them validation that you care enough to remember them. And that asking questions of maybe if it’s a spouse, how did they meet? How long were they married, what were their favorite things to do together? And just encouraging that time to talk and share their stories is so vital and can do so much for them in that grief journey. There are other things that can be done as well as getting them involved in social interactions. So you know, taking them to bingo or getting them involved in their local senior center, engaging in mindfulness activities, you know, maybe finding a yoga class or activity that they can do in the senior living that they’re at, or you know, just things like taking a walk or getting outside in nature can be very therapeutic. I like to say the three Cs are really important as well, and that is allowing them to choose, encouraging them to make choices that are best for them during a difficult time. Helping them connect, which allows them conversation and an opportunity to talk about their loved one. And then communicating, creating space for them to express their feelings to, you know, good and bad. Share those memories. And then again, just helping them get support if you see that they might be stuck or experiencing depression.
Emma Case (11:48):
For our listeners who may be feeling lost in their grief or don’t know where to begin, what would you suggest is the first step to getting support?
Jennifer Frush (11:56):
Oh, I think recognizing that reaching out for support is not a sign of a weakness. It’s actually a sign of tremendous courage. So reaching out to an organization maybe like New Hope and connecting with someone here to find out, you know, a little bit more about what you’re going through, what are some of the challenges, and then getting plugged into the programs and services, especially if they’re free. I mean, that’s the idea is to create less barriers so you can receive support during a very difficult time in life. Again, I just stress that reaching out and getting support. So whether it be with an organization like New Hope or a counseling service or the Community Center, just helping yourself find happiness, and joy again in life.
Emma Case (12:41):
If somebody wants to get involved with New Hope, are there opportunities to volunteer?
Jennifer Frush (12:45):
Oh my goodness, yes. So New Hope actually runs on 250 active volunteers at all time. The reason for this is when you serve that many people, we need help running our programs and just even day-to-day tasks. So there’s tons of opportunities, whether it be answering phones, doing special administrative projects, helping with fundraising, maybe even facilitating a group after you’ve experienced a loss and done some of your own healing. We have tons of opportunities and there’s even such things as working at our kids camp, which is in July. It’s really fun to work with kids and see how resilient and how much they can overcome and tackle their grief. So there are tons of opportunities and how they could get involved is reaching out. One of our email addresses for volunteers is griefhelp@newhopecenter.net. Or they can call our office at (248) 348-0115 and get them plugged in.
Emma Case (13:43):
If our listeners want to know more about New Hope or maybe get plugged into a support group, where can they go for that info?
Jennifer Frush (13:48):
Check out our website. We’re at www.newhopecenter.net. Follow us on Facebook or Instagram. Come stop by and see our office. We’re located in downtown Northville. Our office is at 133 West Main Street, Suite 113. Or you can give us a call at (248) 348-0115 and we’d love to share more about what we do to bring hope and healing to those impacted by the death of a loved one.
Emma Case (14:14):
Jennifer, thank you so much for joining me today.
Jennifer Frush (14:16):
Thank you so much for having me and allowing me to share a little bit more about New Hope.
Emma Case (14:20):
If you have questions about services or programs The Senior Alliance offers, you can call us at (734) 722-2830 or email us at info@thesenioralliance.org. Information about our agency or the programs and services we offer can be found on our website at www.thesenioralliance.org. Finally, on Facebook, we can be located by searching for The Senior Alliance. I’m Emma Case. Thank you for listening to this episode of Inside The Senior Alliance.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Inside The Senior Alliance is a production of The Senior Alliance and Blazing Kiss Media.
